


it's Sarah but it's not

by Wanhxda



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: A bad trip, Acid, Drabble, Drug Use, Sarah Manning being an idiot, or a good one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 19:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13347912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanhxda/pseuds/Wanhxda
Summary: Sarah needs a push in the right direction who better to do that than herself?If it is herself, that is.





	it's Sarah but it's not

Two hours. And nothing. They were meant to be good. No, more than good. Life changing. It had been so long and she could only keep worrying and not knowing and searching, searching and searching for the fucking answer. This was meant to work. A break through, that's all she needed. A life changing experience. She'd had them before, not that she can remember much. The colours, the sounds the /feelings/.

Two hours and Sarah was not feeling fucking anything.

"Shit." She had paid good money for those. Rising from her couch she made her way to the kitchen. 

Calm, Sarah. There is no point in getting angry now. 

She was in the bathroom. How did that happen? No, no no no this wasn't right. She frowned, looking down at her hands. They were moving, but they weren't. Now they were blue. Now yellow. No, blue and yellow swirling together to make a vivid green that made Sarah's head hurt to look at.

Look away. A good idea. Her eyes jump up, to the mirror. A bad idea. A very bad idea. Everything was swirling, moving, seeping through her skin and

It stops.

Now her hair is a pale yellow, a mass of curls. Red encased her eyes. But it was Sarah. Or it wasn't. she didn't know.

"What is wrong?" The other Sarah said.

"You look frightened. You don't need to be. I'm your friend. Your bestest friend! You are having fun with me, no?"

What accent is that? Russian? Ukrainian? Polish? The other Sarah smiled, a wide, almost manic grin that she knew she should be scared of, but wasn't. Sarah blinked.   
She doesn't wear glasses?

"Lysergic acid diethylamide. Nice, isn't it? I only tried it once though. Thank god it wasn't a bad trip," the new Sarah says, half smiling back out of the mirror at Sarah. She brings her hand up to smooth it over her head.

"Who are you?" Sarah says. "What happened to the blonde one?" 

The mirror-Sarah frowns. "It's just us, isn't it?"

Another blink. Another version of herself. She never used to have a fringe, right?

"What have you done, Sarah?" Says this one, a condescending look on her face. "You really should have brought someone to trip sit you. And three 200mg's in two hours? What were you thinking! What if you go insane from this!"

"But I wasn't feeling any effects..." She trails off.

"Well I think you are now, sweetie. You should stop this and go back to your dau-"

No. Stop. Blink. Another one.

A blood red cunning smile, and cold eyes and damn why won't they go away! 

"This is disappointing. Arent you meant to be taking care of her?"

No, no, no.

"Kira? That's her name right? She's there without a mother and here you are, in a run down apartment getting high. Here's some advice from someone that actually knows what they are doing. Leave that imbicile. Vic, right? Go home Sarah, you're making a fool out of yourself."

The breathing won't stop. It's too fast. Her head is spinning. Make it stop.

 

Please. Make it stop.

Sarah blinks.

And she's in the mirror again. It's not right. There is no life in her eyes. She's given up.

"Save them," says Sarah that isn't Sarah. "Go back."

"I can't."

"You can. I have to go."

"No. No you can't what do I do? How do I go back to them? S? Fe? Kira? They won't forgive me. This is all I ha-"

The room gets brighter. No, the mirror gets brighter. What's that noise? A train? Sarah blinks. And it's her again. Her breathing slows, the swirling colours start to fade. How long has she been standing there? It's light outside now. 

Sarah blinks. And again. And again. One more time, just in case one of them comes back.

They don't.

Sarah packs her bag.

**Author's Note:**

> I always wanted to read a fic about Sarah seeing the other leda clones on a bad trip. So I just decided to write it because I want it to exist.
> 
> I wrote this at five am so so idk how good this is but I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also don't do drugs kids


End file.
